Woolworths, a huge retail franchise in the UK recently pulled a product: the Lolita bed for young girls. Here’s the article: Staff at Woolworths baffled by fuss over the little girl’s bed called Lolita.

For those less book-inclined, Lolita is the eponymous title of Vladimir Nabokov’s 1955 novel describing the sexual obsession of a step-father with his 12 year-old step-daughter. “Lolita” has since become a sort of code-name for a child who is attractive to pedophiles. So, it doesn’t take a marketing genius to deduce: Lolita is perhaps the world’s worst name for a child’s bed.

How about naming sleeping pills “Kevorkian,” ballot-counting machines “Florida specials,” or supposedly good computers “PCs.”

So now that the press is on the story, there’s TV specials on the surge of age-inappropriate products (I do think the kid pole dancing kit crossed the line) and opinion columnists are weighing in. Here’s my reflections of a different sort.

1) Can we expect business and marketing majors to know literature? I majored in English at a strong liberal arts college, but didn’t read Lolita until last year (admittedly, I knew of the novel for years). I’m going to make a guess here, but aren’t major retailers employing folks with marketing, business, or finance-related degrees who would have had few if any university English courses? If ever there was a day when businesswomen and men could be expected to have read all the classics, that day is past.

2) I have no idea how big companies work, but shouldn’t there be someone in an office somewhere making sure these things don’t happen? Call the position the Cultured Commonsense Coordinator. That person would compile lists of bad product names–like Lolita–and kill offensive products before they go to market and embarrass the company. With the internet, this would not be a difficult job.

3) The Times reported the good folks at Woolworths had to look “Lolita” up on Wikipedia before they understood the firestorm of protests and boycotts. Perhaps more interesting, however, is that the biggest organized protest began on a blog. The web has empowered the modern consumer in ways unthinkable twenty years ago. Consider this post by a theology post-grad. It’s a blog post, but it’s huge free advertising for the products he’s sharing–speaking of, I’d love his camera wrap. Companies who aren’t up to speed on the Web 2.0 world will be left behind.

Yep, Woolworths made a hugely embarrassing mistake. Perhaps they should next consider a new line of products supporting reading. Call them, maybe, books.