Reading a London Times article today on a child’s tragic death, I noticed a profoundly theological use of quotation marks. The article mentioned the child’s funeral at her church, and the family’s description of the funeral service as a “celebration” of the child’s life.

The article said something like, “and family and friends gathered at the church to ‘celebrate’ her life.”

I take, by this use of quotations, that the writer considered celebration for a life prematurely cut short as abnormal, deciding it best to use quotation marks to make sure readers knew it was the family who had this crazy idea of “celebration” and not the writer.

I recognized the phrase, “a celebration of her life,” because I often use it myself. I do a lot of funerals. Meeting with families before I often say, “We’ll make the service a celebration of [loved one's] life.” I’m beginning to think, however, that this is a phrase that comforts but fails to communicate.

When I speak of the service as a celebration of the loved one’s life, I’m more fully hoping to convey that the service will be (1) worship of God during which, (2) we rejoice in the resurrection of Jesus who gives all lives hope, and (3) we shall give thanks for the life of the loved one, commend her/his body to God, and commit her/him to the elements.

If I’m honest, however, I think points 1 and 2 are often unclear, misunderstood, or completely absent. Funeral services all too quickly become overly focused on the life of the loved one and only on God as an afterthought. This is especially true when funerals are for and attended by non church-goers. The liturgy helps correct this emphasis on the deceased, but my impression is that most people come to the crematorium (where 90% of such services occur) to “pay their respects” to the deceased and the family rather than to worship God.

To counteract the popular notion of funerals as first about the deceased, I suppose I could explain to each family, carefully and fully, my understanding of the funeral service as first one of worship in light of Jesus’ resurrection, during which we will give thanks to God for the life of the loved one. But I’m afraid such a clear statement might make many families uneasy–some to the extent of preferring me not to lead the service–as a significant number of funerals I do are for non church-attending people who may or may not have anticipated such a service.

The Presbyterian Book of Common Worship titles such services, “The Funeral: A Service of Witness to the Resurrection,” clearly emphasizing Jesus’ resurrection rather than the death or life of the deceased.

Certainly, a funeral can include a celebration of one’s life. Or further, a funeral should include a celebration of one’s life. But at its core I understand a funeral to be a celebration in praise of God, remembering Jesus’ resurrection first and foremost.

I sense, in my current context, that my understanding is in the minority–certainly not the first time. Maybe the newspaper writer was right, the funeral service was a “celebration” of the child’s life.

photo by rameckers