Part I: America is big, no really, America is big

Part II: Americans are conservative

Part III:  Americans are informal

Scene: a hospital this afternoon…

Member:  Hello Mr. Copeland

Me:  Hello Jane, it’s good to see you.  We know each other well now, though, so please just call me Adam.

Member: I don’t think so Mr. Copeland.

Me:  Jane!…my first name’s Adam not “Mr.”

Member: Nope.  You’re my minister.  And if you want to stay that way, I’ll be calling you “Mr. Copeland.”

Me:  Yes ma’am Mrs. Doe.

Americans are informal.  Or at least, Scottish folks are more formal than Americans.  I’ll preface the rest of my remarks with a dollup of reminder that the bulk of my experiences are drawn from older folks active in church life, who may tend to be a bit more interested in formalities, but I’m willing to stick with my thesis: “Americans are informal.”

Take the conversation above.  Or the fact that you never ever get a doggie bag here–crazy, I know.  Or to stay on the restaraunt theme, folks tend to order several courses, restaurants tend to bring special silverware for each, waiters tend not to say, “Hey, I’m Frank and I’ll be taking care of you tonight,” and you never get ice–ok, the lack of ice is totally unrelated.  Anyways.

Take Ayr High Street.  If you walk around tomorrow morning, you’ll find scores of old Scottish men wearing shirts and tie, many in full suits.  These men maybe had a doctor’s appointment, maybe got coffee with a friend, or quite likely are just out shopping.  Old Scottish men–in Ayr at least–dress up a whole heckuva lot more than home.  Church attire is more formal as well.

Or take the ridiculous way Scots write formal English.  “Dear Sir.  I hasten to write forthwith regarding a preponderance of the tactical information gathered upon the inspection of your abode last Friday, 12th of June year of our Lord 2008…”  That’s darn near close to what a plumber wrote me to tell his bid on some work at the manse.  At home a plumber might call you to say, “That’ll set you back $400 bucks, buddy” and certainly wouldn’t write in the most ridiculous over-formal British prose that smacks more of Elizabethan encyclopedia entries than clear communication.

Or take the royal family–it exists, they’re about as formal as can be, people have huge affinity for them.  Yep.

Overall, I really like American informality.  It acts as a leveler, a down-to-earth simplifier that cuts through undue formality that so often functions to separate one group from another.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for manners and ettiquette, but there’s a difference between politeness and frufruity.

So when I return to the states, I’ll have new eyes and respect for American informality.  I won’t burp when I get into that first restaurant, but I’ll happily take my leftovers home, eat my one course with any old fork, and if I write the restaurant afterwards, I’ll just pop off a quick email.