Money Matters
I just got back from a meeting with Megan. Yes, I have meetings with my spouse. Scheduled meetings for particular purposes. It works brilliantly. About every few weeks Megan and I will schedule a meeting to sit down and go over our budget. We’ll look at the shape of monthly income and expenditures. We’ll chat about any big purchases on the horizon. And we’ll make changes to the budget accordingly. We usually meet in coffee shops so it’s a little more business-like than just chatting — and its the quickest budget entry ever — coffee into the coffee line.
I haven’t blogged much about money before, so what follows are a few random thoughts, and some questions for the blogosphere.
First, our relationship would not be nearly as peachy were it lacking our money meetings. If money issues aren’t addressed, money thoughts can become all-consuming. On the other hand, if money matters are never addressed, well, checks bounce and things can escalate quickly. We’ve found no better way to deal with such challenges than addressing them head-on, but in a particular place at a particular time (yes, we’re both pretty strong “J”s).
Second, we keep account of everything we spend (well, we try to get darn close at least). Megan’s been the one to do so over the first few years of marriage by using a spreadsheet, but I’m going to take the reins next month. So, I need to find a method to call my own. I’m not a huge spreadsheet guy, or at least, I’d prefer to find a bitter way if one exists. Here’s where the blogoshere comes in…
I’m looking at Mint.com, Wesabe, and Geezeo. Anyone have experience using them? I think the interface of Mint looks great, but I wonder if it’s smart enough to handle our budget (not that it’s a big budget, just lots of line items that can be tricky — e.g. toothpaste, even if you buy it at the grocery store, must not be counted in the food line item). I’d say budgeting is my top priority for these sites, and then other functionalities are bonus. Any other sites/resources you’d recommend?
Finally, I’d just like to say in public how strange I think it is that folks don’t have more real conversations about money and budgeting. I mean, sure, people talk about it when they reach a breaking point. But I’d love for churches and groups of friends to offer safe places to have other types of conversations as well.
One of the ideals I love held by those who are members of the Iona Community is that they meet annually to check in, to pray, to keep each other accountable, and also to talk about how they are using their money to serve God and others. Maybe that’s a bit idealistic of me, or maybe it’s not. In either case, I’m happy to schedule a meeting with Megan and to talk it over.
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I think “money meetings” are a great marriage practice (and a good practice for consideration in the church community too)–but then, I was a CPA prior to seminary (and a J to boot as well), so I’m all about transparency with money.
For our own budgeting/money management, we use an “offline” software program (there are several out there, we use MS Money, but they’re all similar)–they belong to you (and your computer), but can connect to your accounts to download info, etc. and are VERY customizeable (toothpaste can even have it’s very own budget category). I like them for their flexibility and budgeting and reporting capabilities.
One online system that I have no personal experience with, but that several people I know use is http://www.mvelopes.com (that’s not a typo). It’s the “envelope” system of budgeting, which is based on cash–some folks find it better suits their money/budget philosophy.
Thanks, Christie. And thanks for the other comments on my facebook feed. I’ve heard of envelope systems and will check that out. Honestly, I completely forgot on non web-based programs but yeah, that’s a good idea
I’ll look into it. Peace.
You may have already seen this – but check some of the links/suggestions here:
http://pomomusings.com/2007/07/27/amazing-money-management-tips/
Some good thoughts there.
We never really stuck with Mint, but I think it has the possibility of being a pretty cool deal. We just use Quicken 2006…and some Numbers spreadsheets…
But if I was the one to mainly do it, I’d probably try something like Mint.
Thanks, man. Some good comments there. Another thing that could be covered in seminary…
excellent practices you are maintaining – my parents did this for their entire married life and I’ve done it all my life (married and not, but hard to have conversations with myself sometimes!) I use the old paper/pencil accounting book – and yes, toiletries (toothpaste) don’t go in the grocery line. My line items have varied over the years, too – no longer have a children’s clothing item or school fees/sports fees item. Flexibility is good.
Some of the budgeting info was covered for me in seminary during the senior year financial planning session(s) with BoP Clark Simmons, and during my supervised ministry (budget for summer camp, all line items and monitoring)- I am of an opinion that Supervised Ministry is a good setting to include learning goals about money matters and the church – church budgets, stewardship, clergy financial planning and negotiating (perspective of current staff and session and resident presbytery/judicatory folks). There is at least one elective offered by Cam about money matters in the church (every other year or so I think) – maybe not enough but more than in some settings. AND the BoP offers several seminars for different times in life and they are free and offered all over the country – encourage you and others to take advantage of them (or similar offerings) – financial planning for early career, pre-retirement, retirement, etc. Just some thoughts to encourage the upfront talk about money in personal living and work settings/the world.
Be well,
Sarah
Remember Adam, most marriages breakdown over money issues. If your wife has been looking after the budget for several years, defer to her advice. Spreadsheets and financial packages look good on computers but the real test of any household budget is how your spouse likes and understands what you’re doing.
Thanks, Stushie, though we tend not to defer to one another but partner together. Communication — from both of us — indeed, is key.
my wife and i are also making sure we talked about money matters as often as it is needed. i think you dont need to neglect it for a family to be able to really have debt free relationship.
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I highly recommend Mint.com, which we’ve been using for nearly a year now. I don’t know the other services, so I can’t compare, but I was a little bit skeptical when my partner wanted to move us to Mint — and my skepticism is gone! It’s managed to handle a wide variety of our accounts very well, and helped us track spending very easily. It’s even suggested a few changes we’ve considered, to save us some money.
I use the HOG located at http://wakeupordiepoor.com but they also have spreadsheets and offer guaranteed support if you have any trouble. We tried Mint too but I didn’t like the banks having all that information all together.