My DOs and DON’Ts of Children’s Sermons
The tricky truth about children’s sermons is that it’s easier to come up with bad ones than good ones.
Yesterday, a Sunday morning Twitter exchange with a few pastors got me thinking about my children’s sermon approach, and how it differs from many of my colleagues. For example, when I saw this site and the idea of teaching about the bentover woman in Luke 13 with a bent spoon, I laughed out lout and closed my browser tab immediately. Later, when I had time to reflect, I found some redeeming qualities to the suggestion, but the bent spoon as an object lesson still puts me off (as if osteoporosis is anything like a bad ice cream scoop — that’s insulting both to our adults with bad backs and to our children’s intelligence!). So, here’s a few of my children’s sermons DOs and Don’ts:
DO:
- My main resource is usually the Bible, usually a story (I say more here ). I don’t tend to tell moralistic stories from life – there’s plenty of time for those outside of worship. Non narrative scripture lessons can work too, but narrative is probably better.
- Teach about worship, liturgy, our worship space, traditions, etc. For example, our congregation often sings the psalm appointed for the day, but rarely did so before I was pastor. So, as we began this practice, the children and I talked about singing psalms, and where we could find them in the Bible.
- One point. One point. One point. I try to make one point and stick to it.
- I’ve found that hand motions and using our bodies together works very well – I thought a very effective children’s sermon took place when the reading was on a version of the Lord’s Prayer, so I taught hand motions to the prayer and everyone – children and older folks – prayed it together with the motions.
DON’T
- I don’t use myself as an example except to connect with the children (and not to connect or get a laugh from the non-children congregants).
- I don’t usually use an object in my children’s sermons. If I do, it’s often a picture and very tied to the point of the children’s sermon rather than a traditional “object lesson.” It’s not that I hate objects (though Calvin did call most of them “idols,”) rather what I understand about children’s learning development is that most of the kids who come up for our children’s sermon can’t yet make the intellectual leap from an object to a point loosely tied to the object — “This chocolate is sweet, just like God is sweet to us” or anything like that. If it doesn’t connect very clearly, I don’t use it.
- I don’t view the children’s sermon as entertainment for the congregation, so I don’t try to get the children to say funny things the congregation will enjoy; I keep open-ended questions to a minimum. Besides missing the point of worship, laughing at the children makes them objects that entertain rather than fellow worshipers. Objectification in worship is never good.
- I don’t feel I must connect the children’s sermon point to the longer sermon later, or even use the same text. Sometimes a children’s sermon is a good way to teach a lectionary text not used otherwise.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. I’m certainly not a gifted children’s sermonizer, and I’m always looking to learn more. For example, last time I posted on children’s sermons, someone commented about a UMC church she knew where the children’s sermon happened on a special rug unrolled for the occasion, on which the kids and a pastor huddle. But that pastor doesn’t have a microphone, and another pastor with a microphone shares announcements from the pulpit while the children quietly huddle around the other pastor. Everyone worships, but the children aren’t made the center of it. Sounds heavenly to me.
image by Flavio Takemoto
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THanks, Adam, these are great guidelines. I dread children’s sermons, but the best ones follow these rules. I would add one thing, you can use objects in your illustration, so long as the message doesn’t hinge on that object, i.e. object as pure metaphor. And that ‘useless’ bent spoon illustration was cringe-worthy.
Thanks for these thoughts. I have often hated children’s sermons because they are done do badly. I mostly set up a conversation with them without any gadgets or props. They are incredibly insightful if we give them a chance to share.
Thanks, Megateer & Theresa. And one and all, check out Theresa’s great children-related worship post here:
http://theresaecho.wordpress.com/2010/08/22/let-the-children-come-intergenerational-worship
See the introduction to my book, Everyone a Butterfly: 40 Sermons for Children (2004, Skinner House) where I include material on what makes for a good children’s sermon. Thanks for initiating the conversation.
Question–the kids are in the habit of getting candy suckers every Sunday. I hate that. Is there a way to stop it diplomatically? (Besides just not doing it. Did that once, and had a 3 year old throw a fit. I’m OK with that–not my kid!)
Great question, Linda — very tricky, though. Help us out here, folks. What do you think? Perhaps you could explain why you don’t like the suckers, and then replace them with another ritual — prayer comes to mind, or a closing song. Liturgy that involves the children and adults works well.
You could put the suckers in a worship bag or have them in the pews or something so they’re not part of the sermon — then gradually wean them away.
Hmm. I’ll keep thinking…
We have a gentleman in our congregation who gives out candy to the kids every Sunday. This has caused quite a stir with our group of members who clean the pew cushions every few months and find the candy wrappers. There’s also a contingent who just don’t like how it looks – kids eating candy amidst a worship service.
I have encouraged our “candy man” to keep on giving. There seems to be a growing divide among the generations, and here’s a guy who has found a way to connect with the children, to show them hospitality, and to greet them every Sunday morning. The kids know, even if they are ignored elsewhere, that this man will be there for them – not only with the candy, but with a smile and warm greeting.
So, while I am normally against using candy as an object lesson or as a prize for achievement, in this particular case, I appreciate his willingness to show hospitality to our youngest of members.
We’ve encouraged folks who want to “hand out” something to give it out after the children’s sermon time in the narthex as they head to the extended session portion. Not my favorite either but, I too, don’t want to cause more harm than necessary.
I love your suggestions, especially keeping it to “one point” and not using the children’s sermon as entertainment for the rest of the congregation. It can be confusing and off-putting to a child when they hear adults laughing and they don’t understand why. Or the child may instinctively understand that there is an audience to play to – and then does so.
Several people help out with children’s sermons in my congregation. There is one person who consistently keeps his children’s talk simple, sincere and right on their level – no winking at the adults. I am grateful when he presents the sermon.
For almost a year I have been ending the children’s sermon with the children leading the congregation in saying the Lord’s Prayer and then taking up the offering. It was pretty rough around the edges at first, but now goes very well. The children know they are an integral part of that worship and appreciate that a lot.
I look forward to the Children’s Sermon every time I preach… and even when I don’t.
I agree that object lessons can be problematic and that open-ended questions are scary, but in the right context both can be the doorways to great insight from the children and the person leading those moments. To me, the key is having the right person lead… someone who can trust themselves and the children in the moment, someone who is authentically welcoming the children on their own terms (because they can smell fear and insensitivity a mile away), and someone who forgets that there is anyone else in the room when they talk with the children. If that’s not the pastor, then I say hand it off. It won’t help relationships with children or parents to have the kiddos spend several awkward moments with the pastor every Sunday.
From there, it’s a matter of wrestling with the topic until you have something legitimate to say directly to the children about it. The children’s sermon can be a great tool for clarifying your own thinking about a topic- whether the passage at hand or something unrelated. If you can distill it down to a concept that children can grasp, then you should also be able to share that concept with God’s older children during the rest of the service.
I love this comment. I dont think there should be rules for CT. (no stuff) I spend a lot of time researching the texts and then see where God leads me. It cant be prepared last minute and having a close and loving relationship with the kids is a must. I love doing CT. Look at everything and see what feels right. Let God lead you! I think funny comments from the kids are great. (If they are not planned) At an Easter Sermon when the kids were asked what they found in the tomb? One child said “Hot Dogs” Our Congregation and that child still talk about it. Its all a matter of how you handle it. The kids know the church family isnt laughing at them but with them. We have a good time. I dont plan laughs of course, but it is a beautiful thing to watch a child love God so much that they feel free to answer even if its funny. If you dont love doing it the kids will know. If you dont truly love the kids they will know. Lighten up and enjoy this time. Kids are Gods purest form of love. Kids are a living example to all of us of the pure love of Jesus.
I’ve been doing a lot of children’s sermons on prayer this summer. I agree with you about “objects” and also about feeling that you have to connect it to the lesson you are preaching on. I like to do something that helps the children connect with worship, or that they are a part of worship. I also like to do something that gets they moving.
oops, them.
Adam – good post and I throughly enjoyed it. Along with the do’s I do some of the don’ts. I do use objects from time to time but they are not the focus. God and Jesus are; I do use either a lectionary or scripture that is closely aligned with the theme of the day . In my congregation I find that the children’s message and larger sermon tend to reinforce their learning when asked. My only issue is when I have the adults tell me “I got more out of the children’s sermon today” (yes, that has happened!). Makes me go “hmmmmm. . . . “
Other Adam –
(Or am I Other Adam and you are Proper Adam? Oh well.)
In my churches, we haven’t had a longer sermon after children’s sermons because we’ve only done children’s sermons during family services (the kids are usually in Godly Play during that part of worship). Therefore, I usually do what I call “Shrek” sermons — sermons that will make sense to the kids, but which the adults will get stuff out of too. I’ve noticed that adults sometimes get more out a children’s sermon than a normal one. My most memorable children’s sermon was on Ash Wednesday — it’s on my blog, a post called “The Invisible Cross.”
Thanks for the insights!