Sex on campus, the campaign trail, & in the classroom
Megan and I recently gave away four boxes of books and sold two others to secondhand book dealers. Taking old beloved books off our shelves was a painstaking process. Most of the books we ended up giving away were from college and seminary (if you were wondering: science books resell for a whole lot more than religion books). One book I did not give away — maybe will never give away — is Our Sexuality, assigned for a college course on human sexuality.
Human Sexuality, taught by a UCC pastor turned sociologist, was one of the most personally affecting courses I took at St. Olaf College. It’s been seven years now since I soaked up lectures on everything from sexual physiology to the economics of the pornography industry, but an oft-spoken line of the professor remains with me: “Understanding your sexuality is the foremost component to understanding yourself.”
Many words come to mind to describe that wonderful course and the atmosphere created by the professor’s thoughtful pedagogy — non-judgmental, liberating, embodied, reflective, hilarious, sacred — but it’s that last one that sticks with me.
Looking back, I’m not sure how he did it. Somehow, though, without his even talking about faith much at all, I was convinced that the professor’s deep respect for his students as sexual beings came from his Christian convictions. Despite that fact that he gave several lectures bemoaning the sexist history of the church, I also got the distinct impression that when our professor enjoyed sexual intimacy with his wife (which he was open to discussing), he understood sex as a holy gift from God and within God’s love.
Pivot now to two sets of recent articles. First, Saturday’s NY Times has eight commentators discussing “The Gingrich Question: Cheating vs. Open Marriage.” As I flipped through the short essays weighing-in on open marriage, divorce, sexual intimacy, etc. I was struck that the Times had failed to ask any clergy for their perspective. Which got me thinking: was the snub an oversight by the Times, or did it simply reflect the fact that clergy are not skilled (equipped?, open?) to speak publicly about sex.
Mind you it’d be a cinch to find a preacher who’d use the Times’ bully pulpit to argue in loud monotone for marriage between one man and one woman. Many of the Times’ writers, however, demonstrate much more careful words and thoughtful consideration than that, and I wondered what pastors might say publicly beyond, “marriage is good.” (I’m not saying it isn’t, by the way, just that I long for a deeper, richer, more theological conversation than most pastors react with, or at least those covered by the mainstream media.)
Thankfully, then, I later caught up on my Christian Century reading to find just that: several campus pastors reflecting on the complicated culture of dating, sex, drinking, and hook-ups at their colleges (including, my alma mater).
I recommend the series of articles, “Sex on Campus: College chaplains on the hookup culture” at The Christian Century’s website (may require subscription). It’s all just tidbits from a larger conversation we need to have, but I’m heartened that it’s out there. I long for more holy places like my college human sexuality course to discuss sexuality, sexual ethics, culture, and faith.
I’ll close with the hopeful words of Tara Woodard-Lehman, Executive Director of the Westminster Foundation at Princeton University. Words of which, my former human sexuality professor, would be proud:
I attempt to help students cultivate a prophetic, holy imagination—one that helps them imagine a self and life that is integrated. I invite them to affirm what Rowan Williams calls “the body’s grace,” a vision of sex as an identification of one’s own body with another’s body as mutually given sources of joy and desire. I invite them to see their bodies through the sacred lens of their Creator, who names them as good, very good. Even if they can’t quite believe that it’s true, I hope that they want it to be true. And I trust that over time, by God’s grace, they will live more fully and faithfully into that new reality.
image by Matthew Bowden
Review: “On Our Way” edited by Dorothy Bass & Susan Briehl
The new book, On Our Way: Christian Practices for Living a Whole Life sums up my best hopes for how young adults might live well in today’s world. Because of that, I found the book both delightful and tragic at the same time since it calls us to think deeply about how we are living today. Often, I found myself underlining a sentence and saying under my breath, “Yes…YES!…but that’s so hard.”
Edited by Dorothy Bass and Susan Briehl, On Our Way is a collection of essays responding to the deep hunger of a rising generation. The writers, 12 pastors, activists, professors, and other thoughtful-types clearly write from their hearts as they plumb the depths of scripture and tradition for good words on our contemporary world. The following summary statement provides the framework for the book:
To embrace a way of life abundant requires us to be attentive. No one can live this way in isolation from others: life abundant depends upon and arises within life together. It does not lead into a fantasy future or purely spiritual realm but into the real world. There, Christian practice these practices not for our own sake but for the good of all, and not by our own power or vision but in response to God, whose own grace and call provide this way of life.
Chapters include essays on Living as Community, Care for Creation, Singing Our Lives to God, Peacemaking and Nonviolence, Knowing and Loving Our Neighbors of Other Faiths, and more. My favorite was a chapter entitled “Making a Good Living” by Douglas Hicks in which he deals with materialism, money, and intentional living. He ends by cautioning, “Do not let anyone tell you that living a relatively simple lifestyle is an easy practice of faith. it is one of the most difficult.”
I began reading On Our Way because I thought it might help me in my work with young adults. It will. Greatly. But, a few chapters into it I realized I wasn’t reading only for work anymore. The book had begun speaking to me personally as well, helping me reflect on my own way of living in the world.
The one regret I have concerning On Our Way regards its cover not its contents. The understated cover doesn’t shout “Read me: I’m an awesome young adult ministry book!” nor are hip words like “missional,” “emergent,” “curate,” or even “vocation” splashed across the cover. Without a blurb from Brian McLaren on the back, I fear it might take its time getting into the hands of church leaders. And that’d be a shame.
That said, I have a high regard for the folks at Practicing Our Faith, and I trust their judgement. And, heck, the book’s quality should speak for itself. I highly recommend it for young adult groups, pastors, educators, and all who ask questions how to live well and live faithfully in our world today.
For video conversations with Dorothy Bass, the authors, and links to a corresponding DVD resources go here. They’re great too!
Responding to Weiner’s “Americans: Undecided About God?
A pastor friend wrote me this weekend wondering my take on Eric Weiner’s recent NY Times Sunday Review Opinion piece.
My friend wrote, “[Weiner] seeks a new, entrepreneurial religion, one that allows doubt and skepticism (yes please) but one, it seems that we control, create and manipulate (no thanks).”
Read Wiener’s piece for yourself: “Americans: Undecided About God?”
It hit home for me in that:
- I agree that Americans’ are not taught — and, so, rarely learn — how to speak about religion in the public square in ways that don’t jump to judge and stigmatize (the recent ridiculousness over ads and the “All-American Muslim” TV series is a great example)
- I know it’s a pipe dream, but I’d love to consider ways to teach basic religious education in public schools. I believe that would help understand our neighbors, not to mention dozens of Shakespeare’s Biblical references and better nuance Tim Tebow conversations.
- Dovetailing with my experiences with The Project F-M, a huge interest of the young adults I know is speaking about God in ways that are open to questions.
- Weiner’s search for a faith that is both “true” and “good” reminds me of a Theology Pub session on salvation in which those around the table described salvation as “deliberative living, achievable, a balanced life, love.”
- Brian McLaren has written that, in today’s culture, we need to show not that the Christian faith is true but that is it beautiful. When folks see the beauty, the truth follows.
On the other hand, Weiner’s conclusion did leave me scratching my head. I didn’t quite understand the operating system metaphor, and Steve Jobs (God love him and my Apple products) was fraught with many troublesome traits I wouldn’t want in faith leaders. But, I also heard in Weiner’s final paragraph, a call to action for mainline church leaders. So, I’ve slightly re-worded his paragraph for the mainline context.
We need more transformative leader of religion. Someone (or ones) who can claim not a new religion but, rather, a deeper and richer way of being religious. Like the best user-friendly technology, this new way would be more straightforward and unencumbered, while also confessing that serving God often feels unintuitive. Most important, it would be highly interactive and relational. I imagine a religious space that celebrates doubt, encourages experimentation and allows one to utter the word God without embarrassment. A place to serve God and neighbor that welcomes the Nones among us. And all of us.
So that’s my response to my pastor friend. Others?
Review: “The Theological Turn in Youth Ministry” by Root & Dean
I’ve never been a youth ministry sort of guy. When I was looking for a call out of seminary, oftentimes folks would assume that since I was in my 20s I’d be going into youth ministry. They did not know me. Don’t get me wrong: I love youth and youth ministry, but it is not my primary calling. And, believe me, youth out there, it really is “me, not you.”
That said, when I heard Andrew Root and Kenda Creasy Dean had come out with a book on theology and youth ministry, I was most interested, for these fine professors know that youth ministry is not some subset of “real ministry,” but true tough theological work. Their book, The Theological Turn in Youth Ministry shows just that.
The work is in two parts, the first on “Theological Starting Points” and the second on “Theology Enacted.” Root and Dean go to great lengths to claim their work as a theological task, and boy did they convince me. Root writes,
“If youth ministry is to have a future that avoids these deadly traps of self-justification and isolation, it must move boldly into deep theological construction. What I mean is that we must begin to see ourselves not primarily as youth ministry directors but as theologians who do constructive theology in the context of ministry with the adolescent population.”
This book is perfect for that Senior Pastor who scoffs at youth activities as simply games and lock-ins; this book is perfect for youth directors who know their work is deeper and richer than it’s perceived, but are searching for the theological means to describe it.
That said, perhaps the book’s main flaw is somehow inherent to its purpose: in so proving the theological richness of youth ministry, the book’s sheer complexity would make it a very challenging read for the average youth ministry volunteer. Thankfully, helpful discussion questions conclude each chapter, but the work stands so far above the fluff some expect of youth ministry that for these folks, Theological Turn will be a bit of a shock.
From its opening pages to its close, Theological Turn does good very well to ground youth ministry as it should. Also compelling, however, is the constant reminder that, as is put in the Introduction, “young people are not bored by theology. They are bored by theology that doesn’t matter.” Those who read Theological Turn will get a wonderful reminder of why theology matters in the first place.
New Same-Sex Marriage Study for Youth
Are you looking for a way to discuss same-sex marriage with youth, a way that gives credence to multiple perspectives and acknowledges that (no matter your personal view) Christians read the Bible in different ways? Well, you’re in luck because The Thoughtful Christian.com just published a youth study that attempts to do just that (and it happens to be written by yours truly).
As I put in the blurb, “The idea of same-sex marriage and the question of its appropriateness is prevalent in our culture and media today. It’s also important for the church to be willing to address this topic with youth and discuss their questions and concerns.”
Too often, in mainline churches where same-sex marriage is controversial (or just not addressed) among our members, we fail to discuss it with youth. Not only does that not help youth think theologically about an important question, but it teaches them the church is not the place to discuss tough, challenging issues. This study, through use of art, case studies, discussion, personal reflection, and question-asking helps make a space for youth to discuss the question of same-sex marriage. (There’s also an adult version at The Thoughtful Christian.com).
So, check it out. The $5 study comes with an 8-page Leader’s Guide and handout for the youth. If you don’t know about The Thoughtful Christian‘s book deals, you’ll want to look into that as well. It’s a great site with a wide array of downloadable studies. And, thank goodness, at least most of the authors are really top-notch.
Friday free-for-all
So much is swirling around my already taxed mind these days I can’t seem to pop out a traditional post, so here’s some bullets from the swirl:
- The three state sanctioned executions this week greatly trouble me. Opposition to the death penalty is an issue deeply tied to my Christian faith, so much so that I admit my inability to understand those of differing perspectives. Lord have mercy.
- I join the chorus of those surprised that none of the GOP presidential candidates expressed concern over the boos from the crowd at last night’s debate after a gay solider serving in Iraq. I won’t even begin to imagine the uproar if a Democratic candidate had advocated against a policy supported by top military officials and failed to give thanks for a soldier’s service to our country.
- I enjoyed attending my first (ELCA) synod ministry conference at Fair Hills Resort recently. The three days for pastors in the region to meet, study, have sabbath, and learn from one another was a welcome respite from other tough tasks of ministry. I wonder if more Presbyterians might adopt a similar model of regional gatherings for pastoral support, encouragement, and rest.
- Marci Glass, a pastor friend in Boise, Idaho recently posted on her decision not to sign any more traditional marriage certificates until she might also do so for same-sex couples. I deeply respect her position. I’ve never been a fan of pastors signing state documents in the first place.
- I laugh every time Facebook changes and folks freak out, mainly because it so perfectly illustrates the struggle of many church leaders to bring about change in the church. That said, I do have one minor complaint regarding the recent changes: when working in a page I administer, I can no longer send a message to a group I’ve made out of personal friends. One can access groups Facebook automatically creates (such as friends from Fargo, ND) but not the Project F-M group I’ve lovingly groomed over the past six months. Oh well.
- I enjoyed speaking recently at a presbytery event, leading workshops on the church and technology and giving the keynote, “The Ten Commandments 2.0″ FYI, I’m always up for speaking invites — especially on fun topics
image by Henk L
Not quite the NY Times, but…
The Presbyterian News Service published this article on our approach and developing new ministry in Fargo-Moorhead. Writer Erin Dunigan was a blast to work with. I’ve posted the first few words below, but if you want to read the full piece — or not pull out your magnifying glass, click on the picture for the full story (or here).
Connect Online
