Party at Our Place
One of the many benefits of being at Assistant Minister in Scotland over Christmas is the many wonderful gifts. In Cumnock, as Noah shows here, whiskey is a popular Christmas item. Megan and I ended up without a drop of whiskey, but did receive several tasty bottles of wine. And one or two chocolates….
I don’t really know what to say except, “Wow!” WOW!
If you were wondering, all told these chocolates contain 39,930 calories (scratch that…I just found another box) 40,480 calories. That’s the equivalent of 20 days of one’s recommended daily caloric intake if one is eating only chocolate all day long. Did I say I thought I’d gained a few pounds in the past few months?
P.S. If you are one of the kind folk who gifted us with chocolate, we are very grateful and do not wish to seem otherwise. We simply invite you to enjoy the humor of this photo with us, and then come over for a cup of tea and, well, you guessed it: have a piece of chocolate…..or two….or three. Would you like another?
Christmas Eve Clicking
I need to write a sermon, preach a sermon, attend a wee get-together, and open some presents, though it will be against every fiber of my being to open them a day early. Boy, I’m a good husband.
Here are some links to keep you busy this Christmas Eve.
- Fun NY Times piece on US and UK Christmas desserts.
- A Slate slide show on creches.
- And I can’t believe I missed this for a few weeks. I barely deserve to be called a Tallahasseean. My perspective: the sooner the better.
Happy Christmas Adam!
Sometimes I worry…about myself.
So today at lunch Megan said to a church friend, “See you tomorrow.” Funny, I thought, Megan meant to say, “See you Tuesday as she’ll see her again on Christmas Eve which is Tuesday.” Well, Megan promptly corrected me. Tomorrow is both Monday and Christmas Eve, that’d be the 24th.
I don’t know how, but I somehow had it in my mind that Christmas Eve was Tuesday. That’s sort of crucial, because I had planned to write the significant portions of the Christmas Eve and Christmas Day sermons. Woops.
The worst part, however, is that I had already referred to today, the 23rd, with my favorite description: Christmas Adam (get it? the day before Christmas Eve…Adam and Eve) So I both somehow knew and advertised today is the 23rd without figuring out tomorrow is the 24th.
Unfortunately, these idiot moments are becoming all too common. Also this week I ate lunch of soup and cheese but no crackers as I was sure we had run out of crackers. Later, Megan said we hadn’t, and in no time flat produced the box of crackers. Either she had hidden them from me, or they were right in the cabinet where they always have been and where I looked for a good long while because I really wanted those crackers as they sure would have been good with that cheese.
The kitchen, especially, seems to be my downfall. I often lose things in the fridge, it’s like a black hole of my sight and memory–pretty amazing when the fridge only comes up to my waist. Leftovers, which I love, once they get put in the fridge somehow go into hiding for weeks until they are found, usually by Megan, moldy, inedible, and nasty even to throw away.
So now I’m off to write the Christmas Eve sermon, for tomorrow. However, at least I’m not the only one who has put things off. My sermon workshop post for Christmas Eve sermons has had a pretty good day as well. Over 75 hits and counting…
Update: So I just missed a record for most hits today. The Christmas Eve sermon workshop post alone received 98 views. I guess I’m not the only preacher who spent Christmas Adam working on Christmas Eve.
Frosty fairways and frozen tees
Perhaps the only thing less enjoyable than watching other people play golf on television is reading about other people playing golf on the internet, so I’ll keep this short.
Today I braved barely-above-freezing temps today to get in a quick round. It was my day off, and I doubt I’ll get out next week, so after much thought and the donning of long underwear, I gave it a go. And boy I’m glad I did. I found the round in the crisp air to be anything but Twain’s famous quip, “a good walk spoiled.” I had a good round, a good walk, and didn’t spoil a thing.
We all need hobbies that give us energy; golf is mine. A few hours on the course generally leads to rejuvenation hard to find elsewhere.
Being from Florida, I’d never had the privilege of playing in frost. The experience brought about several entertaining firsts:
- hitting a drive well over 300 yards thanks to a frosty fairway
- playing with a yellow ball that didn’t blend in with the ground
- having enormous difficult getting the tee into the frozen ground
- blasting said tee into a million pieces upon impact
- scoring a 2 on a par 4 (all luck, I can assure you)
Here ends un-entertaining golf report.
When Christmas Isn’t
I recently had a lovely phone chat with a friend in the states. She remarked, offhandedly, that she was attending several Holiday Parties this week. While this phrase, “Holiday Party” may not have seemed out of place last year, after living in Scotland for several months it now seems a bit odd.
Stay with me, I’m not going to battle for or against the greeting “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” in America’s (Fox News-sponsored) annual “War on Christmas.” Instead, what has struck me this year is the annual aspect of these celebrations–be they “Holiday” or “Christmas parties.” With few exceptions, I think they are a cultural phenomenon and manifestation of our tendency to mark time year by year rather than actually having anything to do with Jesus at all.
Sure, I know religion is social, and the celebration of Christmas at all shows that we are creatures of habit who like to mark time in periods of 365 days. Jesus was born once, many years ago, so to celebrate his birth again might seem a bit strange to begin with. But I think it’s helpful to analyze what we’re actually doing this December.
Let’s then take a few things as given: (1) we are creatures of habit, (2) we mark time in yearly cycles, (3) we (generally) enjoy parties and excuses for revelry. I’m arguing that these factors are much more important to how we celebrate during December than anything having to do with Christmas itself.
Take the office Holiday/Christmas party. I think most offices would meet for a yearly party whether or not Christmas happened to be on December 25. And what better time to do it than near the end of the year when the weather is a bit depressing?
Take the sending of Christmas cards. I think yearly check-ins and greetings to friends just makes sense and have very little to do with December 25. Several friends of ours send these cards months before or after Christmas which is great and doesn’t make a lick of difference to us.
Take the decorating of houses, the giving of gifts, the eating of special meals. I think all these rituals are plenty nice, don’t get me wrong, but they have very little actual connection to December 25. One is hard pressed to make the connection between Jesus’ birth and Christmas lights, between Jesus’ birth and the orgy of conspicuous consumption that drives our economy, between Jesus’ birth and that darn fruit cake, Turkey, or egg nog.
Perhaps I’ve got to much time to think (which I assure you is not the case), or am extra Scroogey this year, or am jealous of those with Nintendo Wiis. Or, perhaps, these weeks before January 1 have much more to do with cultural conditioning than Jesus Christ.
What will they think of next?
Hello. I am a cheese grater, but not just any cheese grater.
I am simple, easy-to-use, practical. Once you meet me, you will say to yourself, “Why didn’t someone think of me before?”
I’m not just any cheese grater but a cheese grater and cheese collector in one. Simply grate the cheese on my handy blades and the grated goodness falls into my ingenious tupperware interior. No mess. No fuss. Nothing to it.
Grating is made easy by my rubber feet (so the grater doesn’t slide all over the counter as was the case with some of my older relatives). And as if that wasn’t enough, I come with a lid for storing leftover grated cheese.
I am available at IKEA and fine supermarkets around Britain. If I haven’t made it to your neighborhood store, pray it won’t be too long.
5:00 Shadow, 7:30 Meeting
I have a conundrum…
So this working professional thing is still quite new and I’m struggling with several more practical areas. There’s the clergy collar issue, the I-only-own-one-pair-of-dress-shoes issue, and the facial hair-evening meetings-and-it’s-a-pain-to-shave-twice issue.
Though it perhaps shouldn’t be so, I realize the culture very much judges professionals by their attire, so I do my best to look presentable and professional. Ever noticed how the presidential candidates always look freshly shaved? Newscasters are always clean-shaven. Remember Al Gore’s beard debacle?
Most days I shave about 8:00 a.m., but by evening, I’m definitely sporting the dreaded 5:00 shadow.
Now Megan likes the look. Apparently JCrew models can’t get a decent shave anywhere as every one has about three days beard growth. I’ve also noticed that in recent years baseball players have followed suit, apparently saving money by shaving only every few days. But somehow I don’t think the expectations for Scottish ministers has quite caught up with America’s fascination with JCrew or baseball.
Remember when you first started shaving and it was so novel, so manly? Well, it’s just plain annoying now. I don’t have an electric razor so the whole shaving process takes time and effort. At the moment I use a Gillette five-blade razor and my face definitely appreciates a few minutes of hot towel treatment before it goes under the knife.
I’ve experimented with a goatee or full beard, but most people said that went over like a pregnant pole-vaulter. I have evening meetings several times a week and it’s really annoying to shave before them. Help me out folks, what’s the pastor protocol for a 5:00 shadow?
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